I have a great idea. I always say this when I have an idea I want support for. I find it saves time if you tell people what they think. After all so few do. Reminds me of a funny piece I read about confessions of a reformed thinker. It was quite a funny piece, talking about being fired for being a thinker or divorced for being a thinker but then, once I started thinking about it, I thought, you know this is not funny.
But I digress. Have you ever considered just how handy a mute button would be? You could have it installed so it was somewhere handy and in case of need you could reach up and push. Then when you say all the things you are thinking that you shouldn't, you could turn off the volume. I need this. Or, if you were about to say something you shouldn't, a good friend could turn you off, and do you a favor, save you from that nasty taste of shoe leather. I think I need this too. There would have to be some kind of shield you could put over it to keep the kids from turning you off when you were on a rant. And there would have to be some horrible penalty if a spouse or buddy were to mute you at an inappropriate moment. Very, very horrid because I know several people who would be willing to pay just a regular horrible penalty to mute me.
Think of how this would benefit all man kind. When one of us has forgotten how to stop, one little push and problem solved. When we are about to ask the very large NOT pregnant lady when her baby is due, one little push and no fortune in flowers is required. When you are about to disclose a secret of epic proportions (which is never me because a. I can remember nothing I am told and b. who would be silly enough to tell me such a secret) or say that very witty comment that is perfect but you will definitely regret, one little push and only the lip readers would be wiser. We could refuse to let teenagers have volume at all until they reach 21 or financial independence, which ever comes last. In fact, we could probably get a remote that can mute entire buildings at the same time. You tell me this would not be a blessing a couple of times a week. A brief moment of complete and total silence would be incredible. How much would this cost to develop? Quick someone write a check, this is going to make a million.
My mother used to say I could not stand the sound of silence. The television was on or the radio was on or music playing all the time. Perhaps one day you reach the total absorption of sound your body can handle and it craves the silence and stillness. Or maybe it is a part of the mothers curse that comes later...just wait, one day you will want silence and you wont be able to get it!
It's wise to be suspicious, I have seen the results of the mothers curse (I hope you have a child just like you) and it's not pretty.
For the time being, I suggest we all practice pretending there is a mute button. When we have said something we shouldn't, we can look around and say "where is that sound coming from?” And when someone else is talking but they shouldn't be (don't pretend you don't know what I mean) we can all look at them with a funny expression and say, 'your lips are moving but the sound isn't coming out'. If they become agitated we can say " do you have one of those new mute buttons? I wish I did "
But I digress. Have you ever considered just how handy a mute button would be? You could have it installed so it was somewhere handy and in case of need you could reach up and push. Then when you say all the things you are thinking that you shouldn't, you could turn off the volume. I need this. Or, if you were about to say something you shouldn't, a good friend could turn you off, and do you a favor, save you from that nasty taste of shoe leather. I think I need this too. There would have to be some kind of shield you could put over it to keep the kids from turning you off when you were on a rant. And there would have to be some horrible penalty if a spouse or buddy were to mute you at an inappropriate moment. Very, very horrid because I know several people who would be willing to pay just a regular horrible penalty to mute me.
Think of how this would benefit all man kind. When one of us has forgotten how to stop, one little push and problem solved. When we are about to ask the very large NOT pregnant lady when her baby is due, one little push and no fortune in flowers is required. When you are about to disclose a secret of epic proportions (which is never me because a. I can remember nothing I am told and b. who would be silly enough to tell me such a secret) or say that very witty comment that is perfect but you will definitely regret, one little push and only the lip readers would be wiser. We could refuse to let teenagers have volume at all until they reach 21 or financial independence, which ever comes last. In fact, we could probably get a remote that can mute entire buildings at the same time. You tell me this would not be a blessing a couple of times a week. A brief moment of complete and total silence would be incredible. How much would this cost to develop? Quick someone write a check, this is going to make a million.
My mother used to say I could not stand the sound of silence. The television was on or the radio was on or music playing all the time. Perhaps one day you reach the total absorption of sound your body can handle and it craves the silence and stillness. Or maybe it is a part of the mothers curse that comes later...just wait, one day you will want silence and you wont be able to get it!
It's wise to be suspicious, I have seen the results of the mothers curse (I hope you have a child just like you) and it's not pretty.
For the time being, I suggest we all practice pretending there is a mute button. When we have said something we shouldn't, we can look around and say "where is that sound coming from?” And when someone else is talking but they shouldn't be (don't pretend you don't know what I mean) we can all look at them with a funny expression and say, 'your lips are moving but the sound isn't coming out'. If they become agitated we can say " do you have one of those new mute buttons? I wish I did "
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