Ever have this kind of week?


I have so much sympathy for those who one day just kind of melt down in the middle of where ever they may be, and end up having a huge hissy fit. One of those yelling, screaming, crying, throwing things hissy fits. The kind you are so embarrassed about later but in the moment you feel absolutely justified in having. I always want to say to them, I so understand! Trust me I do! If you could skip the embarrassing part I would have one all the time.

I have had a week of issues and problems and challenges. I no sooner jump one hurdle and someone slides another one in front of me. I work through one frustration and just beyond is another one carrying a sign that says, You ain't seen nothing yet. I am not terribly frightened by challenges, I just feel the need to be able to breathe from time to time. So demanding, I know.

I have noticed that while I haven't given into many hissy fits recently, there are times I have serious difficulty filtering my responses to others. I find myself saying much more of what I think than I intend. I like to call that leaking. When your thoughts are leaking out of your mouth. I don't really notice all the leaking I am doing until someone looks at me strangely and I am forced to respond, I am sorry, did I say that out loud? I think lots of things conspire to lower my filters and have me developing verbalitis. I think frustration, weariness, unresolved issues start wearing me down and everything begins to develop an edge. Humor that isn't quite funny and witty critiques that come out sounding grumpy and destructive. Now I have compounded my issues by adding remorse and guilt over the way I interacted with others. It makes for a messy week and I feel like screaming a little too.

I am thinking that Murphy's Law might be re-written to: Anything that shouldn't be said, will be said, and later regretted. Let's call it Engle's Law. I want royalties.

I feel confident this is what James was talking about when he wrote everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to become angry. Also the tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person. That daggone tongue is destructive and keeping it muzzled is a job. Nice to know the problem is universal. If you have to be miserable it's good to have some company.

New prayer is that God might help me learn to hold my tongue when it is trying desperately to start a fire. Hey wait, I just remembered that song....it only takes a spark to get a fire going. And soon all those around can warm up to it's glowing. That's how it is with God's love, once you experience it. You share His love with everyone. You want to pass it on. Wonder if James thought of that?! Someone pass me a smore. I think I see a blaze beginning.