Another Generation

My Son got married this Spring. It was an exhausting time and while I loved the wedding and enjoyed the party, I was a very happy girl when it was over and everyone was on the road. I have seen my son and daughter in law fairly frequently since then, they live about two hours away and have lots of friends and connections still in the home town. They have had lots of adjusting to do, as all married people do. Starting life as a couple, finding jobs and places to live. Figuring out how to juggle taking care of home and work and relating to family and friends. It's all hard work and takes time. They seem to be doing it well.

It's an adjustment for the family too. I am trying to relate to a son who is a husband now. He has done a remarkable job of remembering that we are adjusting too and has gone a long way to stay connected with his father over football and with me over family life. It's weird sometimes, for both of us I bet. I have to repeat the mantra over and over again, remember when you were doing this, remember when you were doing this.

There are lots about those days I do not remember, I am sure. I remember the floor that sloped so badly that it was unwise to set a glass on the table, it would slide to the floor every time. Or when my mother in law found the potato in my window and asked me why it was there and I said because it was green. Apparently the reason potatoes get green is because of exposure to sunlight. Who knew. The phone calls to my mom at lunch time to ask her how to make something else. I really had only mastered macaroni and cheese and rigatoni. I wasn't really even sure about those. I also remember that it was hard to want to hear wisdom from others but still be allowed to make my own decisions. I hadn't really learned to listen for good counsel and still being confident to make my own choice. I don't know that I struggled with the transition from daughter to wife. I think I had been pushing myself out of the daughter role for years.


Last night my daughter in law came into the kitchen and helped to get the casseroles for Thanksgiving started. She has certainly helped me do this in the past, but this year there was some urgency as I am recovering from pneumonia and somewhat wobbly. She was extremely helpful and encouraging without being smothering. She was independent and jumped in to find things so she was real help instead of just two extra hands. She was helpful and thoughtful without making me feel like an invalid. In fact, she was another adult in the kitchen. It was a very gentle tender moment and I felt honored that she would make the effort.

There are going to be many such moments, I suspect, as I learn to relate to my children as independent adults and enjoy them. I think it's nice to see them take charge of their life, develop a plan and life from it. I think it's delightful that they are nice people who's company I enjoy. I am blessed that God is good to such a knucklehead like me.

I wonder if they know the potato thing? I hope not.