Lost in the back and beyond

Did you ever wonder where the back and beyond was? Wonder no more, I know and I will tell you. Just drive to Kentucky and get on a route #473 and follow it faithfully. I don't know exactly at what point you arrive to the back and beyond but at some point you will look around and say, hey, here I am! I know this to be true, I had it happen today!

There I was lost in my lack of sleep state of being, kind of a state of heightened numbness if you know what I mean. Absolutely exhausted but still moving forward on the caffeine induced state of consciousness. Have you ever done this? I don't really recommend it, I heard myself speaking tonight and I thought, will someone ask that annoying woman to stop talking and then I realized it was me. Not only that but after a lot of caffeine your body parts seem to work in slow motion, you think about your arm raising long before it does so.

So back to the drive, I am sipping coffee and following the route sign and projecting positive thought to all the deer who might be standing just off the road waiting to time their sprint into the middle of the lane with the arrival of my passenger door. I begin to notice the houses are farther and farther apart, I haven't passed a car in a long time and all of the sudden I cannot see another light anywhere. I begin to look for the closest street lights and security lights in yards and I think wait, stop! You have reached the back and beyond. Too bad I didn't have my camera. Only it was dark and you wouldn't have seen anything but dark anyway. Still, seems a shame not to record this moment for posterity.

I did a u turn and got excited when I thought I saw lights coming in the distance and thought, wouldn't it be funny if in the middle of back and beyond I get hit by the only other vehicle left on the planet. Only of course they were not lights at all, just reflections of my lights on the water in the ditch. Golly. I guess if I had sat there waiting for the car to pass that would have been worse, but only just barely.

Moral of the story, sleep more, worry less and when you get to the back and beyond stop and giggle a little. It makes you feel so much better and who can see you anyway. I don't think the police do a Breathalyzer test for people who are sleep deprived but I am not entirely sure about that. I can tell you this, I couldn't have walked a straight line if my life depended on it. I wasn't even sure I was wearing my own shoes for goodness sake.

By the way, if I happened to be talking to you today, it wasn't really me. It was either my evil twin sister or it was all a dream depending on which alternatives means more to you. And have I mentioned lately what a great gift grace is? Gosh I needed lots today.