Christmas Lights.

I have been driving home somewhat annoyed about the Christmas lights. Not because they aren't beautiful, not because they don't put me in the Christmas spirit, not because they remind me of the Christmas' past when the kids were small and delighted by all they saw. No, they are annoying me because mine are not up.

I do not have Christmas lights because of a series of illnesses and chance distractions followed by football games and better offers and it is all very hard to bear with patience. In fact I am becoming a bear as I wait. It is very wrong that I am still waiting for my lights when my neighbors who NEVER put up Christmas lights put some on their back deck where I could see them to encourage me. This is even more wrong.

So why don't I just go out there and put up my Christmas lights? Well, you know, this is a good question and of course it's not like I am not capable. Okay, capable is a stretch. I do know how to plug the lights in and I am able to both carry and use a ladder, but I cannot do some of the wild displays that my kids in particular are so fond of, and I grow tired quickly of the work required to make the front of my house look like a winter wonderland. In fact, I am not only not capable, I am not really interested either. I don't want to put them up, I just want them to be up.

This is very much the way it is in many facets of life. I want it to be good, I just don't want to make it good. I am not afraid to work hard, I just don't see the point in some areas. Like housework, I can't get the warm fuzzies about housework. I like the house to be clean, in fact I am not happy when it is UNclean but cleaning it doesn't do a lot for me. Organizing it, yes, cleaning it, no. I don't mind telling you why either: do you know that the very minute you finish dusting it is already gathering and a family member is lying in wait dirty clothes in hand, or a dish or something, you know they are. And when you finish a room and turn out the light with a feeling of great satisfaction, you can't get all the way down the hall before the light is back on and a drawer is being opened, dirt is being drug in, hair is being dropped. I tell you, it's a never ending job and has a very brief shelf life. Why on earth would I want to do that?

I am a little like that when it comes to loving God's people. I know He loves all of them, and I want to have love for them too, I just don't want to work at loving them. They are so hard sometimes for me to like. They are opinionated and grumpy, they want a lot and give a little, they are seldom satisfied and always have a reason to need one more thing. I understand that I am probably not one iota different from this but I don't have to tolerate me. In fact, I am often quite annoyed with myself and if I could avoid me, I would. I want to behave better, I just don't it to take a lot of my time or require a lot of self discipline.

So perhaps like with my lights, unless I am content to wait for someone else to get it done, I had better find a way. If a clean house is important, I had better find a way to clean it and keep it that way and if my Father wants me to love His people and obey His word I had better find some way to do so. With enough money I can hire some delightful person to both put up the lights and clean my house, but I suspect the rest is all me. Hmmmm. This could work into a great prayer request. God, if you will just give me the money to get some of this stuff done, look at all the time I would have to dedicate to spiritual development. Eh, it was worth a shot.