Pushy Hospitality

Is pushy hospitality an oxymoron?  I have noticed in recent years that when people talk to me about hospitality, they are challenging me often to make room for them, or for people who they have judged I do not welcome with open arms.  I need to make room for the poor and the oppressed, I need to make room for the widowed and orphaned, I need to make room for those who are without a people, I need to make room for my enemies, I need to make room for those who believe differently from myself.  I must make space for those who think I am stupid, shallow, judgemental, opinionated, bigotted.  In fact everyone gets a seat at my table, if I am faithful and loving, serving as a true child of God.  I am not sure exactly how big this table is, but I know that if I am not a worthless, shallow, in name only Christian, everyone is sitting at my table, darn it.  My smile stays fixed, the food never runs out and no matter how many times I am rudely address or treated as a dog, my response must be, "Thank you sir or ma'am.  May I have another?"

Before I am left sitting here with Archie Bunker, let me say that the heart of the above it certainly spot on.  I am convinced that this honors God and is genuine love at its best when at our table, in our souls, there is always room for others.  I do not disagree with the sentiment and I would not rush to jumping up and down on the heads of those who teach it.  Come on in, I will make room for you and heck, I even want to make room for you.

However, and let me say this as a person who knows my vision and understanding is limited to what I can grasp at any given time, may I ask this question?  Doesn't everyone have a table?  I mean, really?  Are not the very people criticising my table manners, telling me that I must get a grip and clean up before I can go sit at their tables?  Those who are annoyed that I have beliefs contrary to theirs have decided I must agree they my beliefs aren't meaningful before I am welcomed in?  Is hospitality a 'you all' kind of thing or an 'us all' kind of thing?

Is not the standing back and making demands of the host a total violation of the rules of ettiquette and hospitality?  When did we get permission to criticize everyone elses manners at the table and be confident we had the right to judge, and dispense corrective action?  Is this not the absolute lack of hospitality and grace we are being told to practice? 

The more I dig into spiritual formation and encounter God who loves and delights in His children, the less I have been sure of my judgement and understanding of others.  Yes, my critical nature is alive and well, thank you very much, only from time to time I am given a glimpse of God's grace shining in places where I was fairly sure God would not walk.  If a slow thinking mutton head like me can get that, I am pretty sure anyone can.  So why are we pointing and shoving and yelling "Hey, you, why don't you try love for a change?" and then standing back with smug spirituality (another oxymoron). 

I am back to thinking that while my table needs work, I am confident that God knows just exactly what condition it is in.  God knew what condition it was in last year too and do you know, He just loves hanging out with me anyway.  Interesting people arrive all the time and, as I have become more confident that God is always present, always loving, always delighted to be with me, I have become more comfortable with my guests.  Now when someone comes and spills something or dislikes what is being served there are moments when I am saddened but not dejected because I am so filled with God that I have no room for injury.  Not always, I am forced to say, but sometimes.  That's just pretty good stuff, let me tell you.  So good that I have even started on occasion to fail to notice how other tables are doing, whether they are keeping up the team standards, if they are being gracious enough, darn it!  This is also good stuff.

There is room at my table, not as much as there will be, but room.   I think we can trust God to transform all of us without all the judgement and condemnation.  I think Miss Manners would be all over that,  except she would believe that my use of slang was inappropriate in formal communication.  Which would be rude.  Just saying.