Rest

For the next five days, I am taking a break. It's not exactly a vacation but it is a break from the same kind of work I do all the time and it is coming at a wonderful time. I have been going hard for weeks. I even dream about the next deadline, the next meeting, the next event. I am ready to stop thinking for just a little bit. I think I lost perspective sometime ago. You know when you find yourself staring at people between your thumb and your forefinger and say, "I am squishing your head, I am squishing your head", you are in trouble.

What I am exceedingly bad about is taking a complete break. I am having a hard time leaving the computer at home. I am going to do so only because there is no room for it with me but I think it will be hard and I am going to miss it tremendously. So I am psyching myself up. By not taking the computer I am limiting my work time to reading and writing some, both of these activities I enjoy and find restful. I am limiting email to that I can respond to by phone and I am forcing myself to interact with the folks I am traveling with, because I will be unable to be in the same room but be lost in cyberspace. I don't know when I last did this. Whenever that was I probably didn't like it.

I have been told for sometime now that I need to be more intentional about rest and renewal. That I am not balanced when it comes to work and leisure. I think perhaps this is a moot point because it assumes that I am capable of balance, but I think I do begin to see that while all work and no play will certainly never make me boring, they do conspire to make me crabby. Crabby is not good. I don't like me when I am crabby. When I start on one of my rants, I really don't like me. I can't seem to stop me but I don't like it. I try never to listen to me. I think this is a safety precaution.

So here is my plan. First, I am leaving the laptop home. Second, I am taking notes and books and some things I need to read for work but I am also taking some goofy stuff. I haven't read just for reading sake in a long time....maybe since the last Harry book came out. Third, I am going to spend some leisure time. I am going with fifteen youth and four adults on a youth retreat. I am sure everyday at some point they can get along just fine without me while I take a walk, or read a book or nap in the shade. I think I will window shop some and visit the resource library and maybe chat with a perfect stranger about nothing in particular. And finally, I am going to enjoy worship. I am going to go worship where I am not responsible for a thing and if something goes wrong, someone else will be in charge of fixing it. I will make note of things I love but mostly I will just worship. I am excited.

I am also having second thoughts. Be brave, don't give in now! I know I can leave the computer behind, I know I can. Wonder if they are sure we don't have room? It's small, you know. Okay, Okay, Okay. No caving, I am standing firm and letting it go. I am taking a break. It will be fine. After this wonderful week, I may even adopt the habit and work less. Nah.