Well. It really all begins with a good idea. It is always a good idea in the beginning. It is often a good idea at the end, but at the beginning all ideas are good. All my jobs are the same job really. They just deal with differently segments of the population. Why should that be so difficult? I don't think it should be if we can just get people to coordinate their needs. They need to need me at different times. All at once they need me together and this is hard to manage.
I am not alone in this predicament. I look around me and see many people who are carrying luggage around under their eyes too, whose hair is standing on end and whose eyes have glazed over. They are standing in the Walmart check out line at 10:15 pm because they had no time to get groceries earlier. They are driving through Subway muttering to themselves, "there are vegetables on the sandwich". They have children who have needs, parents who have needs, jobs that require them to be productive and significant others who want a relationship. It's a world seriously whacked, in my humble opinion (though as one must point out it is hardly humble or it wouldn't be shared).
So what are we supposed to do? I am so sorry, it's just not all that likely that we are going to be able to stop the madness entirely but I do think we can confine it some. Our kids don't have to do every activity there is. I had this epiphany experience this week. I was trying to figure out when we were supposed to register Mr. Sam for soccer. He is already playing football and he wants to take music lessons and he is a cub scout. In response to my question I was told, you know that might not fit into the schedule. I just sat there for a moment. Really? Why didn't someone say that before? What else in this mess can go?
Priority management is also part of the equation. It ought to a reasonable conclusion that you cannot have an unlimited amount of priorities. You can only handle a couple at a time. When one resolves, it can be rotated for another one, but you can't keep the same number and add continually. This looks bad on you. It looks bad on me too and just between us, it makes us grumpy. I think most EGR people (extra grace required) have simply overdosed. Intervention might be needed for some, like me.
So I am working on setting a list of priorities. I think someone told me tonight our priorities are supposed to be God, family and work. I have thought this through and I am not sure I can figure out how to take care of just those priorities. How do I take care of my family, my relationship with God and get work done? I have tried giving up sleep. It's not good. It's very not good. I haven't quite made it to the seeing things stage but I have certainly been numb all the way to the core. It has a negative effect on your blood pressure and your social skills.
Time for a new plan. I am practicing saying "no". I am telling myself over and over again, "I am not essential, the last essential person was George Washington and he has been dead for hundreds of years". I am trying to look at each task I do and say, is this really a priority for me? Am I the person who needs to do this? Who else out there might do this better? And horrors upon horrors, does it really need to be done? I always think everything needs to be done, now. Yesterday would have been better. It's a foreign concept but it is perhaps time to embrace.
I am envisioning a placid afternoon of recreational reading. A gentle breeze blowing across my deck and my son recognizing me without the name tag. I bet it's doable. I just hope I live that long.
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