God Dances with me

A few weeks ago a random conversation became one of those moments when the light bulb over my head lit up.  I am often sorry we don't get those cartoon features that are so much fun on television.  Yesterday, a lady sitting across from me said, 'I think the bus is now arriving', meaning she just caught on to what was being discussed.  It was a warm and sunny afternoon, I was a little distracted anyway, and I imagined immediately over her head this huge school yellow school bus pulling up, the door opening and the understanding popping out the door, like 'I'm just a  Bill' from Schoolhouse Rock.  Remember him?  That cute little scroll with feet and some facial features?

But I digress.  During this conversation, the question 'when did you know that God delighted in you' arose.  Strangely enough, when the question was asked, my first thought was, I don't know that I could name a time that I knew God delighted in me.  I felt that slight uneasy feeling inside, like my mom was about to catch on that I am the one who keeps eating all the Archway Icebox Pecan cookies, when I remember my birthday last year.   I was at Camp Sumatanga in Alabama for the Spiritual Formation Academy when every day I would report to my covenant group, I don't really know how to describe how today was for me except God danced with me. 

God danced with me.  I saw thick heavy snow fall, covering the ground and all the trees, and  while I watched out the landscape become a wonderland, I heard a whispering in my heart was the conviction, I made it snow just for you!  Walking through the prayer labyrinth, arriving in the center, there God was, waiting with eager anticipation for me!  I woke up in the morning, fairly early, filled with the certainty that all night, while I slept, I had been watched over by a doting Parent.  I know this sounds like it is all about princess me, and after all I would love it to be all about princess me, but honestly the fun in that week was that I had done nothing to 'earn' God's presence or interest or even affection, God just wanted to dance with me.

And then the bus arrived, and running down the steps was 'I'm just a Bill' and I realized that this is what it means when the scriptures say God delights in us.  I know delight after all.  I have held a new grandson, and studied his incredible face, and nuzzled his sweet little neck, and I thought no one has ever beheld anyone as beautiful as this.   My precious grandson, two months old, has done nothing to 'deserve' being the object of delight.  He mostly sleeps and cries and goes to the bathroom, but I absolutely delight in him anyway.  In him I see the glorious wonders of life, the miracle of his father in my life, the amazing love of God who allows me to have this blessing. 

God delights in me.  I know this because I had a whole week when I was the recipient of pure delight, I have had a whole week where I felt pure delight in my amazing grandson, and because God said so.  That ought to be enough for anyone, but at the risk of sounding like a infomercial: Wait!  There's more!  Knowing that God delights in me leads me to the freedom from trying to work hard to keep His love.  I didn't earn the delight, I can't lose it.  I can stop trying so hard to make God happy, because after all, He just delights in me.  Since God delights in me, the affirmation of the people I am surrounded by is no longer a testimonial, just in case I need it.  Now it is just fun.  Wait!  There's more!  The complaints and rejection of the people around me isn't a vote off the island where God is concerned either.  It's just painful.  God not only still delights in me, God holds me when I hurt.  I don't know how anyone could ever need more than that.

Still wishing for those cartoon light bulbs, or 'I'm just a Bill' to come busting through the school bus doors, but for now anyway, I will settle for the delight in delight.  May I wish, for all of us, more days when God dances with us, for the intentional time to recognize and live into the freedom of delight,  for a precious grandchild with a soft neck to nuzzle, and just for, me a school bus to arrive carrying 'I'm just a Bill' with a love letter more often.  I delight in them!