Growing Pains

I have recently checked in with the state of my soul, as John Wesley wisely advised us to do, and I have it on good authority it is in the bruised and beaten state. In fact, the soul was waving the white flag when I looked in. I understand entirely, the body is surrendering too. We all want to enter the witness protection program and be relocated to some place where there is a law against meanness. Is there such a place? There ought to be.

Once again for the billionth time, I am waiting for redemption and restoration. God is so faithful to do both, His grace is sufficient and His love is enough. Only, just between me and you, sometimes the way one learns this is you have nothing else to hang on to. This is certainly a way to be sure that what we believe by faith to be true is in fact true, but I am not sure I would say a good way, if you know what I mean.

In fact, the soul and I are incredibly bummed. I would say we were on strike but you know, I have tried that and it didn't work out so well. So, we are holding on and waiting for the joy to return, as it always does, looking for the things that are blessings and taking the things that are not and dropping them off where they belong. This is a spiritual discipline that isn't all that fun, honestly, but it results in peace. Who wouldn't do the work to get to the peace.

Well, me I guess! I have avoided the work so I could avoid the pain lots of times. I am a party girl, you know. I like the party, the laughter, and the good times when your soul is dancing like the sunlight on the water. I don't like the storms, the rainfall, the hurt people can inflict into your very being. I like the endings to be 'happily ever after' and the troubles to be short term and the glasses to be rose colored. Unfortunately, this is not always how it works out and when it doesn't, my feet long to run to the hills. I am still not at all sure why I can't be growing spiritually at the party. You would think that would be a natural for me.

But natural or not, it hasn't been a party. It has been very difficult and the only thing I have learned for sure is that regardless of what we feel, God is God, God is good and God is enough. His grace is sufficient and His love is everlasting. That bad is bad, but will be made good, because God says it will and that is enough. This promise alone ought to be enough for my soul to live on, and it is, only it would be nice if the beating could stop now and the healing could begin. I have asked for this starting ASAP. I wonder how long these orders take to process? Now would be really good.

Until then, I am looking for blessings to feed my battered and bruised soul and I am finding them. I have a family who has loved me and encouraged me during the difficult times. I have a couple of friends who have stood in the darkness with me and reminded me that light is within. My son was protected in a very perilous situation. There has been support for me in surprising places and when it has been too much for me to bear, a way out has been provided. That is enough for today, tomorrow will take care of itself.

I am thinking of calling the weather people, sure would like to know when this season is passing. Let us hope the next season is sunny and the water will be dancing. Until then, I am remembering all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes. And maybe praying for a party or two.