Larry Norman

Many, many years ago, a babe to contemporary Christian music, I feel in love with a song that Larry Norman sang called, "I Am A Servant". I don't know that music was so very well done or had a delightful melody. As memory serves, it was just Norman and the piano, kind of high and a little squeaky in places. It was the lyrics that spoke to my heart and I found the song and learned to play it on my guitar. Many a sad moment was spent, hiding in my bedroom with my guitar singing, "I am a servant, I am waiting for my call. I've been unfaithful so I sit here in the hall. How can you use me, when I've never given all? How can you choose me, when you know I quickly fall." Getting to the end of the song always made me feel a little better, though sometimes I had to sing it over and over and over.

Funny how music seems to speak to the soul in ways that words and thought cannot. It wasn't Christian music that taught me this though. My dad was a musician and music was a part of my upbringing. I was surrounded by it all my life and before I was ten I was addicted to musicals. I sang with great enthusiasm all of the leading roles. I was Maria primping in my bedroom singing "Tonight, Tonight" from West Side Story, Liza Doolittle singing "Just you Wait" and "Show Me" in My Fair Lady. I never could warm up too much to South Pacific, but I was delightful as Maria in the Sound of Music, and I wasn't too bad as Laurie in Oklahoma. I like Aunt Eller's songs better and Laurie seemed like such a goose, it was hard to play her with enthusiasm. In the privacy of my room, I would play those albums over and over again, singing and dancing and I was absolutely fabulous! In fact, I feel sure it was only small minded jealousy that kept my father from launching my career on the big screen. He just couldn't bear the competition, I think.

When I hit middle school my tastes changed some and I became a fan of Black Sabbath. Don't anyone throw something at me, or remind me this was hardly a Christ centered group. All I know is this, when I played "Fluff" and closed my eyes, it was as close to heaven as I knew how to get. It drew such pictures for me of beautiful mountains and rolling hills, I just knew I was closer to God when I heard it. James Taylor and Dan Fogelberg and The Who and The Doors and Billy Joe, Led Zeppelin and Lynyrd Skynyrd, Three Dog Night and Charlie Daniels, Bread, ABBA, and BTO all followed. All of them were comfort to me and companionship. To this day if I am driving along on a sunny day, the music is blaring and I am singing at the top of my lungs. I have had folks pass me and tell me later they thought I was having a fit until they realized I was singing. This could be why I never made it to the big screen!!!

Sometime in college I discovered the radio station and contemporary Christian music. I loved my three hour show every week and listened to all kinds of music getting ready for it. This is where Larry Norman entered my musical life, and Keith Green and Randy Stonehill, Amy Grant, Sandy Patti and Steve Green. As I attended a Christian college, some of these singers made an appearance on campus which added to the attraction and adoption. Today, my musical tastes are pretty varied, I love lots of genres but have never been able to warm up to country. All those years of being told not to sing through my nose, I guess!!

After I found Larry Norman and learned to play "I am a Servant", I found Keith Green and learned to play "My Eyes are Dry" and spent many hours making this my prayer to God. "My eyes are dry, my faith is old. My heart is hard, my prayers are cold. But I know how I ought to be, alive to You and dead to me." In time, my soul would be soothed and I would be ready to go on again. In recent years I have added more songs to the list when I have no words. Michael Smith's "Let it Rain" has brought me to tears, sitting at my desk, arms raised and in my mind, the flood gates of heaven open. Paul Baloche singing "What can I do but thank You? What can I do but give my life to do?" My friend Greg has recorded a CD with a cut called "Micah's Song". The words are pretty but its the music that transports me. One day, such joy welled up inside of me, I had to call him to tell him so.

Isn't God amazing, and so resourceful! He has made music a means of grace, where we can experience God in ways that go beyond our intellect, our imaginations and our vocabulary. He finds ways to speak where words could never be adequate. True worship that flows from the heart seems to flow best not in the spoken word but it the melodies of the heart. The book of Psalm lives that witness, the hymns of the faith echo it and the contemporary interpretation simply follows in the Spirit of worship handed down through the ages. And you thought you were just rocking out.

Next time you pass me on the road, and I look like I could be having a fit, it's probably just worship going on! Turn on your own tunes, and join in!