I have for sometime, as long as I can remember, had this feeling of dissatisfaction over the state of the union within the Mainline Church. I have felt a sense of outrage at the clergy on the whole and the mess the churches seemed to be in. I have met other devout believers who's solution was to leave the Mainline Church and to become part of the non-denominational churches, because they had a higher standard and encouraged others to adopt a higher standard for themselves. Sure they saw these churches as having the potential to be legalistic or personality driven. They knew there were things they had to be careful about, and were. But they found in the Mainline Church a blandness of keeping the status quo with no standards that might be divisive and confrontational so that they found it was better to take the risks and go someplace that fed them, rather than stay where they had always been and starved to death. For a long time, I agreed with them.
When I ended up in a Mainline Church after a move to Kentucky, I was both frustrated for myself and embarrassed to tell my friends where I was in church. I tried not to be in a Mainline Church, trust me. I hauled my family to every church in Western Kentucky when after months of trying ever flavor and variation we could find, my son chose our church because they had a boy scout troop and he wanted to be a boy scout. I stayed in the church though I found the worship flat and the spirituality shallow. I kept wondering why on earth I was in this church. I prayed with intensity that God would change the Church and make it a light on a hill and a witness to the community or He would move me. There were moments when I bailed on the light on a hill and just pleaded to be moved.
I fell in love with the people there. They are darling wonderful people and in them I often saw my Father's eyes, heard His voice and felt His presence. It was enough mostly to sustain me, though often I was angry that there wasn't more. There were several moments that confirmed every judgement I had every made about church leadership and I was finding all of my nourishment came from Sunday School and folks outside the church. Thank God for CFO and the Emmaus community, I might never have found deeper waters.
Several years ago, I accepted a call to ministry and went to work at my Mainline Church. I struggled with these like a tiger, confronting my own frustrations with the church and the responsibility to support it. I found myself distancing myself ever further from it's leadership and judging it with even more severity. I was lost and wondering if I had heard right or had jumped into the fire from the frying pan. I wanted to be a part of the process that God uses to call His people further in, higher up. I wanted the church to be a part of the process too. I wanted the church to be the church but I kept running into people who preferred to play church.
My first trip to the Annual Conference was enough to send me home to pack my clothes and move as far away as I could. It was a miserable experience, I was sure God had never been invited to an Annual Conference. I know God is everywhere and I know that nothing can ever seperate us from the love of God and for this I am very thankful. Conference is the closest I wantto get to testing this.
Gradually, in the Mainline Church, I began to find others like me. First it was one voice here and there, then there were more and now, the voices are beginning to be loud enough to be a hum of change. I used to be so shocked when I heard another voice talking about discipleship, hungering for more, moving from the scriptural to the spiritual, sacraficial, sacramental. I would stop in my tracks, and in my excitement, wish like Peter to build a shelter and stay forever. I am still so happy when I find someone who's hearts cry is for more of God but I am less shocked. I am sure God is calling up many and how exciting to be allowed to see such a wonderful time of renewal and remembering.
There are more and more within the Mainline Church. Many more that God is calling home again. There is a pride in the heritage given us by the faithful who have gone before us, and a realization that we do stand on the foundation they made strong. There is a hunger to both know more of God and share more of God with others. There is a great deal of interest and concern over how we share our faith with others and invite them in than I have heard for a long time. We are discussing worship and education and resources with an eye for excellence. Those who are being successful are sharing their best practices and many are taking advantage of the opportunity to learn.
We are far from on the home stretch. Some days I could just cry over those who want to keep the status quo, even though it is the path to certain death. I had someone tell me today why it was they couldn't do work that could mean turning their church around. They are busy and they have grandchildren. Gosh. I guess I didn't have an answer for that.
Still, if you stop and listen you will hear it. It's not quite a force yet, but it is growing in momentum and by the grace of God, I believe it is going to become a climate change. One day very soon, it is my prayer that those in the non- denominational churches will feel less seperates us than currently. I pray that our discipleship process is second to none and what people see when they look at Mainline Churches are transformed lives; A light on a hill, the hands and feet of Christ to the world around us.
I am not quite to proud yet of my Mainline Church, but I am closer every day. I have great hope for what God will do. I hope He will let me be one of the noise makers, no matter how small. I want my grandchildren and their children to stand on the solid foundation this generation will secure for them. The sound of God's people crying out for God's face.
No comments:
Post a Comment