Kleenex Season

For the third time since March I am a nasty, stuffy, snotty mess. I am very irritated by this. I have things to do, places to go, people to see. What is the deal with this? I hauled my germ encrusted body to the doctors and she laid hands upon me and said something profound. She said I had a sinus infection. Well, no duh. I told her that when I called. She also said I had to have blood drawn to do a count and check some levels or another. This is probably NOT true, she was just mad that my diagnosis was correct. Doctors are like that you know.

The vampire who took my blood was efficient, though she had the personality of a board. I am telling myself that not all of us are called to be charming but it you are going to stick a needle roughly the size of a garden hose, suck out three or four pints of my blood, you ought to smile a little and look concerned. This should be part of the Hippocratic oath. I maybe exaggerating about the blood. Sick people do that you know.

I am now the proud owner of a small bottle of huge pills. A purple space age thing that is suppose to make breathing easier and some tiny little tablets that are supposed to make me less reactive to allergens. I am telling you, going to the doctor is like going to the mall, only like paying admission and then everything else is free. I don't know if any of them will work you understand but they were included in the cover charge.

My dear friend Rhonda tells me I went to the wrong doctor. Her doctor, same sinus infection, gave her two shots and seven prescriptions. I think this is remarkable. I don't know whether to feel relieved or ripped off. I think I am falling into the relieved category but if I am not better in the morning I might begin to rethink this position.

Have I mentioned I am going to work a retreat this weekend? No sleep, long hours, emotional people. This stuff better work quick. I might fail retreat 101. How sad if I get fired. What will people say? Oh wait, I know. It's about time, that woman would use any excuse to be grumpy and say, "do we need to have all this mushy emotional stuff now?"! I tell you what, the cloud of witnesses better be cheering loudly tonight.

Here is what I am confident about. God is not surprised that I am feeling nasty. He has a plan in place. The plan is good, it all works out in the end, and in 100 years people really will not care. In fact in a year people wont care. I suspect very few people care now, but they are too polite to say so. It could all be worse. I think. Oh well, thanks for noticing me.