The shallow end of the pool

I think I have finally answered, for myself. the reason so many people seem to gather in the shallow end of the pool when it comes to matters of faith. Ir has always bugged me. It seemed clear that if you have something and it is good, you would want more of it. Yet what could be more good yet people get wet enough to know they are in the water and there they stay.

I have supposed that people got a little wet and then stayed where they were because they could remain mostly unchanged by the water that way. Sure you had to make some small adjustments to allow for the presence of the moisture but really you were still in command and you could dictate how the water interfered with your life. Going deeper presented more interference. It took more effort to stay in these waters, especially places where your feet didn't touch. Other challenges presented themselves and required attention, stuff in the water you had previously been able to step around. It is less secure there, more trust is needed, less seems to be ultimately in our control. Who would want that??? Only those who's desire for more, who's increasing dissatisfaction with the shallow end and those who have gone to deeper waters and call back encouragement, invitation, urgency. In part I still believe this.

Now I believe in addition there are others in the pool who stand out of the shallow end, still not necessarily into the water whether the bottom is not measurable, and give conflicting advise about where to go next. And they, having gotten so excited about the method they took to journey where they are, they have forgotten to go on. Actually they have forgotten why they left the shallow waters to begin with but they are feverish in their study of the method. Each holding his own to be best and each standing along the way to invite you too to stop with them and celebrate. It becomes so loud and confusing and conflicting that only those who set out determined to find more seem to be able to go on.

How did we get so confused? I used to think these were folks who were all about themselves not about God and they just found a way to create a following. Now I feel less so and more convinced that the ability to push on beyond our need to understand, to get beyond method and into joy of the water is a very hard thing to do. When the whole reason we are there is to be absolutely soaked it's hard to see how we got fascinated about what method we used to move through the water. Yet I can point to a hundred books that prove the point.

So I want to spend more time talking about the water, the depth of the love God has for us and maybe let Him tell you how to swim deeper. Maybe each of us has the stroke prepared just exactly for us and while hearing about each others is encouraging and inspirational and perhaps even affirming, maybe we should remember that ours will be unique to us and when we hunger to learn it, God will be faithful to teach us. What I know for sure it the water is wonderful, come on in and see for yourself.

Another Bunny Tale

I took a field trip today. It was a fun trip with the more senior members of the church and we went to a theme restaurant for lunch. They are a fun group and I enjoy them very much. Mostly.

Mostly. There is one that is very much like wrapping the inside of your sleeping bag in sand paper and rolling around in it. Kind of an irritating experience.

I feel I may boldly call this precious person 'kind of irritating' because it is a universally accepted statement of fact and really, it would be an injustice to call her anything else. Bunny Blither is a talker, and she is unable to, even for a moment, concede the floor. If one should foolishly try to participate in the conversation Bunny B simply talks louder and repetitively. Bunny B insists on her own way and should one choose something else, why her way would have been a better decision is discussed over and over again. Today it was discussed every two or three miles. I tried humor, I tried humming, I tried visualization, I tried diversion and finally I was terse. I might have bordered on rude. Perhaps when one of the seniors asked if I was taking them home by ferry and I responded "only some of you" I might have been a little out of line. Or when I said that they must all stop whining or perhaps when I said, "I have no idea what direction I am going and I prefer it that way". Not really the milk of human kindness.

I must say that Bunny Blither is not really my fault. I mean, it is clearly her parents responsibility. If they are sitting in eternal glory observing our suffering I feel sure they are feeling remorse. They say to themselves over strawberry jam and delicious yeast rolls,(you know they are on every breakfast table in heaven), "Honey, I told you we should have beat the girl much more often". I have heard that she was not always the blithering bunny she grew to be, but I do not believe it. I think her husbands must have been saints or deaf. Men can do that though, become deaf on demand. Just mention the trash, or their socks, or an errand. But this is a beef for another day.

So Bunny Blathers on. I will have to say that I am very bad about Bunny B. I groan when she is on the phone and I try to hide from her when she is in the building and I have been known to leave the store without what I came for rather than run into her. I know she is just a harmless little chatter bunny. Why on earth should I become so incensed when she blathers on so. Oh, put your hands down, I know I don't have any patience! There must be some other reason. Come on people, work with me. Let's call it a chemical reaction and be done with it.

Here is what I know it cannot possibly be. I am taking a summer class called Spiritual Formation, using a workbook the accompanies Richard Foster's book Streams of Living Waters. We have been practicing our streams and working on one or another every week. The fruit of the Spirit was one week and I have noticed I am not really growing a lot of patience fruit. It must be a particularly rare fruit and the conditions must be exceeding specific to get it to grow. I know that, whatever the reason it cannot be my fault. I have waited oh say, a day or two several times to see God fix Bunny Blither. Nothing. How on earth am I to develop this fruit when I am never given any positive reinforcement????

So, I have this sinking feeling the Bunny Blither and I will spend many more hours together until I can learn how to grow a little of that patience fruit. Hey, you know, it just could be that I am the wrong kind of tree. I mean maybe some trees aren't meant to bear patience fruit. I bet patience trees are planted in great soil that will produce a great harvest of food Bunny Blither would love to graze on. I think I will call her and share this thought. Oh darn it, I just remembered, she wont let me speak.

Summer Rains

It is absolutely pouring out. An enormous monster of a cloud rolled in, kicked up a pretty good wind and then has been unloading gallons on water over my head. I am fortunately in the house and watching all this take places safely through the glass. From in here it is very satisfying and kind of entertaining and a change from the bright sunshine and the oppressive heat. I had no outside activities planned and I have no place I need to be.

It made me think of other summer rains. Like the ones that fell on my grandparent's farm house. It would be so very hot and a summer rain would come up and we would gather on the front porch to watch and dance in the water that ran from the roof and cascaded over the front edge. It was always hotter and stickier after the rain, a good reason to avoid it at all costs, but it was always a highpoint. I have had the good fortune of listening to the rain drop against a tin roof and it is the sweetest sound. It's almost like music.

One summer rain I remember as not at all musical. It was accompanied by howling winds and thunder and lightening and it shook the windows in their frames. I announced this to my dad and he responded in that loving, caring, who wanted all these children way "Well, what would you like me to do about this?". I guess I didn't expect him to do anything except take note. Surely he had seen the Wizard or Oz and knew that we should be heading for a storm shelter or rolling up in a rug or whatever one is supposed to do when one's house is being shaken. However, we didn't and here I am years later. Still there is no doubt that was a serious moment of failing on old Dad's part. He deserved some of those ugly ties.

I don't know how old I was when my brother and I dubbed lightening as color television. It's really a silly name since it is very black and white, but that's what we called it and I used to love to lay in bed and watch it. We had very active imaginations. We used to climb into one of the bunk beds and ride them to various locations of the world. I think this was a result of watching Bednobs and Broomsticks but I am not sure. We sold each other our shoes, always delighted to find just exactly what we were looking for in the perfect size. My older brother was good at this game. He would first show us our parents shoes and they were always the wrong size. This elongated the shopping trip and made the right shoes so much more satisfying. We were creative artists always making some piece of art or another. We used aluminum pie pans to make picture holders and greeting cards to make place mats and jigsaw puzzles. We tried to make food with the easy bake oven but somehow that didn't seem to ever result in anything edible.

Makes me realize that I need to be making some of these memories with the current generation. Only who keeps greeting cards and aluminum pie pans? Does easy bake still exist? We still have shoes of course. Sam the man still has bunk beds. Perhaps it's time to take one for a wild ride. Happy Summer Rains!

Transformation

I am stunned by the number of books there are on transformation. I am now in personal possession of several that are all about helping churches transform so they can transform their people who will go on to transform their community who then will transform the world. It's kind of like a giant wave. They are all good reading and all very helpful, I think. I have learned a lot that is practical and applicable and I am already thinking through how some of this applies to our programming and education.

So, I guess the question I have is....why aren't we seeing more transformation? I am surely not the first person to read these books. I am certainly not the first person who has been desperately seeking transformation within my own church as well as my denomination. I am confident I am not the only person who has seen the level of mediocrity we have been reduced to, or worse, and been horrified by it. I don't think I am the only one who craves more of God, to know as I am fully known.

So why is it not catching? There are certainly churches where transformation has occurred and there are places where it has spread to the community. The birth of the mega church is part of that equation, I believe. But which part, I don't know. Did they start the transformation dialogue as in 'gosh what are they doing that we aren't' which lead to some books or did they read the books and put the theory into practice? I grow weary of hearing about church models and how they don't work but how on earth can we keep hearing about transformation and remain so totally untransformed?

Here I guess is where I betray my own fears. Is God really calling me to transformation or is this an exercise of arrogance where I think I have a calling to help this process when in reality there can only be transformation by the intervention of the Holy Spirit? Can we really partner with the Holy Spirit to bring about transformation? Is there such a thing as creating an environment where the Holy Spirit can transform lives? I guess I am wondering how to know if this planning and research and training and investment has become about how clever we people are at creating a means of grace and how to know when God has ordained one. I think I can say that with some conviction, that if this is a calling from God, I will study, research, work hard to inspire and motivate, put in the time to do whatever the call is to be faithful. But if this is all me, lets stop the train now and let me get off. I have been on adventures that lead to no where in particular and I have the tee shirt, thank you very much.

So I am praying, and waiting and watching. Father Thomas Keating said knowing the will of God is difficult, one must wait for the fruit. I am certainly surrounded by some nuts, the fruit can't be far behind.