The Battle Rages On

I had one of those weeks.  One of those weeks that is so common to the human experience that right now everyone's head is nodding, and their eyes are glazing over, and they are saying to themselves, me too buddy, me too.  I know that my 'those weeks' is no worse than anyone else's.  I am not even looking so much for sympathy as empathy.  Someone once told me, when I complained about never seeming to make my money and my month match, "Look around, honey.  You are bound to see people you know."  I think in your misery it helps to look around and realize you are in good company. 

Because it has been one of those weeks, I have gone back to the basics.  It has been a good thing for me.  I have forgotten to practice some of the things I preach.  I am not waking up in the morning and suiting up in the armor God has given me to battle against those forces Paul describes in Ephesians 6 as " the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." 

I have failed to remember this journey with God is not always a delightful stroll through shady pathways, or breezy beaches, or even hiking up mountain trails.  Those are delightful times of rest for weary souls, or challenges to our spiritual muscles, or even times of remember who we are, and whose we are.  I like those times.  I might like them too much, so when I am returned to the battlefield, I am unprepared and ill equipped.  Much like attending a banquet to celebrate, staying far too long, and eating way too much, sometimes we just don't get that the party is not a way of life. 

I missed some early signs that the cosmic powers of this present darkness were advancing on my borders.  I was ill prepared and was taken by suprise when the attack was launched.  It did some damage honestly, and would have been much more effective had God not known already how ill equipped this little soldier had become.    What is so amazing about God is even when we know better, God provides for our ineptness.  Not only provides but uses it to show us how very precious we are to Him.  While I was snoozing on my watch, God called up prayer warriors to come to my aid, both in prayer and in presence.  I was reminded again that we are truly not battling flesh and blood, and we are certainly not battling in our own strength and ability.  So, though harm was intended, grace wins again, and I am back to the basics of suiting up to go to battle.  It isn't so bad really, we know God wins in the end.  The battle is ongoing but the victory is certain.

So suit up fellow soldiers.  We battle an enemy that is not flesh and blood, that is within our gates, that is hoping to cause misery since it cannot have victory.  Stand firm.  Pray without ceasing.  Look around, you are bound to see people you know doing battle right along side of you.  Somehow the battle is easier knowing you have good company!

Learning to Suffer Well

This summer I had the privilege of speaking at a CFO Camp.  It was an awesome experience, and I just love the whole organization and the amazing things God during these weeks.  Just spectacular stuff, all around, the people, the program, the location.  There was another speaker there who said this profound thing.  He said his entire presentation had been about learning how to suffer well.  I looked at those around me and thought...wow.  Who wants to know about that?

Henri Nouwen in The Selfless Way of Christ, states that  we like John must diminish and Christ must grow larger in us, evidenced as we walk as he walked.  How did Jesus walk?  Paul says Jesus emptied himself, thinking equality with God was not something that can be grasped, and God raised him up and gave him the position above all.  Not grasping, not pushing, not demanding, but waiting and believing that God will honor what God said he would do.  The end of that sounds good, but....the beginning sounds pretty humiliating.  Who wants to do that?

I am the child Paul ranted and raved at; quit craving milk!  It's time to move on to the meaty stuff, the stuff that requires chewing, that requires digestion, that might even cause some discomfort.  But the milk is good, and it requires little from me and being the baby is the best.  Someone else cares for my needs, someone else has to handle the tough stuff, someone else has to make it all right.  Come and grow is the repeated call, eat some meat, be a big girl.

Somehow sanctification sounds like it would be more fun.  I see a journey along a beautiful country lane, gorgeous array of colors from the lovely flowers and shrubs and trees that line my pathway.  Warm homey cottages that house happy, hospitable people who run out to offer me water, or rest, or even another glass of milk.  From time to time there is a delightful little stream, running clear cool water, gentle sunlight dancing, a comfortable bench here and there to allow me to put my feet in.  There may be a pebble or two along the way that cause me to gently swerve, every once in a great while a dragonfly buzzing past, even (in the far off distance) a small green snake, to remind me that I need to stick to the pathway. It's all very much like the House at Pooh Corners I used to read  with my kids .  Fun, sweet, gentle, joyful, and I become all those things too, just because I can.

This walk through learning to suffer well, emptying myself, becoming nothing,  implies an entirely different pathway.  It winds back and forth and I can't see where it is going to end up.  It climbs stiff hills that make me breathless. The bugs that dive bomb my head, and the massive rocks I fall over, and the short tempered people I meet, are not wearing big smiles or look warm or hospitable.  Instead of offering me water and rest, I am asked for all I have and a little more.  I become exhausted, and hopeless, and lost, and hurting.  Father Gus, from the monastery in  Conyers, GA, once told my friend Valerie that the way to humility was humiliation.  Ouch.  Rather than suffer well, becoming nothing, I am the baby on the side of that path, yelling angrily at God, "You are doing this wrong!"

But I am trying to be better.  I am not excited about this path, honestly.  It is completely petrifying to me, all this unknown twisting and turning.  I don't think I am up to the hiking, and the climbing, and the endurance this stuff takes.  I am fairly sure that I can't do it.  That's a lie, I know I can't.  I can't handle the pain, or do the work that is required.  If God doesn't do it, it wont happen.  Will God do what God says he will do?  Can I really put that kind of trust and confidence, my every hope, my very being?   If I can't, then all is lost.  Seconds drag on and I realize I am holding my breathe.  Is God up to the challenge?

That's the secret of course.  It isn't suffering when you are on the road home, its healing.  I know Who's waiting for me, I know that my arrival is anticipated and my journey will be made with God's strength.  I can't say I am without fear, or that my trust in God is so strong that I will never need to ask the question:  "Are you still in here with me, God? "  Isn't it amazing that God doesn't wait for me to have it all right before we start the journey.   These days God doesn't always hold my hand, or walk where I can see Him.  Sometimes when I look up, I don't see even the reflection of His glory.  I can walk much further than I once could without the constant reminder, but there are places when the path scares me, and the way is very challenging, and I am limping from a particularly tough climb.  Then I fall into a heap and I cry and I ask God again, are you here with me?  God's graciousness abounds and once again He fills me with his love. 

We can suffer well when we suffer in love.  Thanks be to God.

The Light of God's Love

I love to watch the sunlight dance on the water.  The water lies gently sloshing about, stirred by the wind, and the ducks, and the boats in the distance that send ripples out in all directions.  It is pleasant, and pretty, and just watching is often enough to soothe my soul, and invite peace into my troubled heart.  The sound is comforting too, and when I am still and no one else is around, I can hear the sound of the birds, and the bugs, and the water bumping up against drift wood.  I can feel the muscles in my shoulders relax, my heart rate slow down, and my self importance drift away.  Its a truly peaceful place and it makes me happy.  Then, from behind the clouds, the sun pops out and makes the water become alive.  Wherever the sunlight touches the water the movement becomes dance, the diamonds that light up the surface like a million stars.  The peace I am feeling moves over to make room for the joy that bubbles up in me.  I was here to see the water touched by God, and it makes me want to dance too.  The goofy grin is a given, the laughter that wells up in me escapes, and I am quite a sight for any unsuspecting fishermen. 

I have often experienced this feeling on the shores of Kentucky Lake, it is one of my favorite ways to renew.  Unlike the things I have to understand intuitively, or intellectually, or accept by faith,  that one is just experiential.  That one I get, not because I know what is happening, but because I have experienced it happening time and time again.  Every once in a great while God has blessed me with the opportunity to share this experience with others, and that has been even a deeper joy.  When joy is shared it multiplies.

Today, a long way from the water, and in a typically intellectual setting,  the light of God's love burst through and caught me entirely by surprise.  I was listening to a speaker, and enjoying the delivery and the message, relaxing and being so grateful for the time away.  Much like the water, I was listening to words, and calmed by their impact, when the Sonlight  peek from behind a cloud and made them alive.  It was a good message anyway, but when the light of God's love transformed them, I was filled with joy again and I wanted to dance. 

I like to be entertained, and I like to be entertaining.  I enjoy getting to speak or preach when invitations come, and I have always been glad when God has used me to speak to someone.  I am always happy when someone says they learned something new.  I am content if I have been able to hold some one's attention, or kept them awake.  Now I am less satisfied.   I want to share that life giving joy with others, while we watch the light of God's love make dazzling diamonds dance where there were once just words.  If we are given the opportunity to be agents of transformation, why would we settle for knowledge?  Why would we be content with attentiveness?  Why would we settle with entertainment?  I hunger to see the words I am given become alive and bring the light of God in waves of joy, and peace, and love.

I plan on watching the water dance more often.  It's such a blessing, it seems silly to allow busyness to keep me from peace and joy.   I am praying that God will allow the words I speak to reach others with the same life giving opportunity for transformation.  What fun to watch for big goofy grins and hear the laughter bubble up.  Oh Lord, even me.

The End is The Beginning

Yes, I did go to see the last Harry Potter movie.  No, I didn't see it at midnight, but I saw it within 24 hours of its grand opening.  I would like to state, with confidence and authority, that I am not a Harry Potter groupie.  However, I would be stretching the truth a good bit so I will confess my fascination and endure the assault on my reputation.  Oh wait, I keep forgetting, Harry Potter suits my reputation just fine.

I liked the movie.  I will confess that I am with all the purist who are a little put out with the short cuts and the modifications to the story line.  I will also acknowledge that that story line stays fairly true and it's unlikely that anyone would sit through a five hour movie...well, twice anyway.  It was nice to see Hogwarts again, I really enjoyed the dialogue between characters, and Miss McGonagall was delightful.  Neville didn't get as much credit as he deserved and I was sorry the scene between he and Harry was cut on Harry's way to meet Valdemort.  That was one of the tender moments in the book I really enjoyed.  I was also sorry that the duel with Valdemort was more action and less verbal, that was one of the best dialogues in the book.  I have often thought that you could write a "God in Literature" thesis based on the end of this series.

Okay, I am about to blow the movie for you, so stop reading here if you want to be surprised. 

The story of God seems to be stamped all over the conclusion of this series.  I don't know JK Rowling, I don't know a thing about her or her faith, but the Harry Potter series goes a long way towards creating a parable of sorts that explains Christianity to millions of people in the most interesting way.  Valdemort, who is the embodiment of evil, has done all that is possible to make himself immortal, to make evil win out in the end.  Harry fights valiantly only to realize, that having done all he could to by fighting, he is left to surrender, and die so others might live.  His death is the death of evil once and for all.   Only in dying to defeat evil, Harry  is 'resurrected' to complete the battle, when love triumphs in the end.  If this is all sounding vaguely familiar it is because, while a pale comparison, this is the Good News lived out in Jesus.  Jesus, fully man and fully God, dies in order that evil, sin, separation and death will be defeated, arises again providing, reconciliation, eternal life, and hope for all those who call on his name.  Love triumphs there too.  Isn't God amazing?  Do you know how many people have met Harry Potter thinking it was just good fantasy stuff who may one day say, "Whoa, Jesus did that?  For me?"

It is not just Harry, the story is told in various ways in all kinds of generations.  The truth of it is so fundamental that God's story pops up in a million ways.  I know that some Doubting Thomas is right now thinking, how can I be sure that stories about people who lay down their lives for others verify the Gospel?  Could it be that the Gospel picks up this common theme and is a variation on that? 

It may be that everyone has to wrestle with these kind of questions themselves.  I have had that battle and I am happy to tell you that I am sure.  I have worked out my salvation with fear and trembling, just as Paul advises, I expect I will go on working it out!  God is gracious though and some of these battles result in victories that lead to healing and wholeness. 

First, there is the historical data and eye witnesses, after all Luke seems to have done some in depth reporting naming people, locations and times.  Those early witnesses didn't just tell people, they lived their faith, and died for it as well.   Surely, if this was simply a fascinating story from the imagination of some monk or another, someone would have said so by now.  You know what gossips we are!

Second, for several thousands of years, we stiff necked, argumentative, wacky, opinionated, knuckle headed people have done all that we can to push, pull, strain, regulate, impose, and intellectualize God right out of existence, and yet God is unfazed.  In fact, God is still God and takes all of the incredible nonsense we concoct and still reaches people every day in spite of the great help we try to give Him.   People who have had some of the worst examples of what following God is supposed to be like, somehow still choose to follow God.  This is nothing short of miraculous.

Finally, God has loved me faithfully.  I have no doubt that God,revealed in Jesus, loves me enough to make the sacrifice of everything in order to give me everything.  Not at all because I am so worth while, because by no real worldly measurement do I have much value, but because having known me since my mother's womb and called me His own, God hungered to have me know Him as my own.  I can't tell you how I know, though I can point to a hundred stories, episodes, wonders over the years.  I can tell you that sometimes the battles have been fierce, but in the end I have been called to come and die, so I might truly live.  I can point to the same things in those I have been blessed to journey with.  God's love triumphs and evil is defeated, both at the end and in the present.  If God is for us, who can be against us?!

So Harry Potter has come to a conclusion, but a new story begins.  It is the same in the Kingdom of God.  We welcome home a new soul and the celebration is loud and the party is fun.  Now one more light illuminates the path for the next traveler seeking the way home   The end is truly the beginning.  It's so good, I just may have to read it again.  Good God stories are just that way!

Genetic Connections

The family has just gathered again.  This time we did so to celebrate the mother's birthday, having attained the eight decade this year.  We were gathered at the home of the baby in the family, now greying like those who are foolish enough not to take the necessary measures to ensure this does not happen.  I believe we call them pigment impaired, but I am not sure of the correct terminology there. 

We started off the day with a rousing game of corn hole.  I must confess that up until now, I have been in a corn hole free zone.  The title alone has been enough to keep this 'been made perfect, being made holy' being on the sidelines.  That, and no ability to throw with any kind of precision.  Okay maybe the throwing thing has precedence, but regardless, let's just say I haven't played.  However, I am confident that even if I was wonderful at this game, the family would mercilessly make fun of me so there was no risk involved, and I tossed my first corn bag.  Turns out I was hideous, but I enjoyed it tremendously anyway.  Those who were not bad then took over and the games became more cutthroat, also typical family behavior. 

There is something about my family that makes the relation unique.  It is not a Walton family kind of connection.  We are fiercely independent, and none of us are alike, but there is no doubt we are a family.  The years we spend growing up together were more often in Nerf wars than in holding hands and singing "Let there be peace on earth".  Someone in my house was yelling often enough that we were never intimidated by this behavior.  Mostly we were checking out the direction, and weighing the potential personal impact.  We didn't mind picking on each other, but we didn't let others participate.

While we celebrated together, I watched my children, now adults themselves, play with my siblings.  Though we have never been close enough to be together often geographically, my family circle is still connected.  It is hard to fathom how that can be, but it just is.  There is something in the genetics that makes us a family even if months have gone by and there has been little contact.   In a crisis, everyone responds.  When there is a party we all try to come. If there is a need someone will fill it, often with a sigh.   It's not Norman Rockwell after all.

I can't help wondering if this is what is missing in the local church today.  This connection that has little to do with shared interest, fun programming, inspired worship, though all of that plays a part.  I wonder if we need more of the connection that comes from belonging, as brothers and sisters, that has nothing to do with us and everything to do with our Father.  I know we are working hard on making God gender neutral, but really God is not genderless.  God is gender full.  God is both male and female, both mother and father, and the key to the spiritual genetics that make us family members.  As children of God, we belong to this family.  We may be in conflict, we may be nothing alike, we have a variety of tastes, but we are related and the relation means that we are safe because we belong. 

I don't think it will be hard to attract people to a family get together, particularly when the family is enjoying each other, and is happy to welcome new kinfolk.  That feeling of belonging, of having a connection that might be stretched, bent, ignored, and still be connected is contagious.  Dysfunctional families, as most are, are hardly the stuff of those darling Currier and Ives greeting cards.  The local church isn't either and probably functions best when we remember that.  It looks good for the pictures, but it isn't real life.  There are characters in most families, after all. 

So, what if worship became a family get together each week?  I wonder if that would change how we feel about gathering, how we might behave while we were there, and who we might want to invite.  Somehow talking about God together each week would be different if we remembered we were talking about the Father/Mother we all share.   All kinds of possibilities exist in a family when the members know that they are loved, connected and valued.   Parties might spring up quite naturally!

My family is quirky, unique, frustrating, fabulous, creative, lazy, opinionated, hardworking, peace loving, argumentative, funny, sarcastic, talented, smart, goofy, uncoordinated, athletic, well read, liberal, conservative, generous, tall, short, couch potatoes, techno geeks, and so much more.  We are fun to be with, and exasperating almost at the same time.  Strange how that works!  Still, we have not had much difficulty in finding others who want to be a part, there seem to be new members all the time.  Must be the genetics!

The Patriotic Christian

I am one of those 'proud to be American' types that have been the negative focus of some of the politically correct movement inside the church.   Let me say that I do not think this is because I am naturally on the opposite side of any form of political correctness.  Or because I am oppositional defiant, as I have so often been accused.  And I don't think it is because I often choose the other side, just because I can be, though honesty forces me to admit that any of these reasons would probably be enough for me. 

'Get the American flag out of the Sanctuary', I hear a lot these days. 'The anti Christ is likely to be Lee Greenwood, and the military is already in his pocket'.  There has been such a wave of only anti patriotic religious stuff, that it makes my head hurt.  I wonder why on earth we think it is worth this kind of attention.  I mean honestly people, if Nero really did fiddle while Rome burned, has he become the patron saint of the mainline church?!

Do you really believe in a world where the influence of the church is at a historically low point, close to irrelevant, that what we should worry about is where we place the American flag?  Do you think this will be attractive to the Joe American we are hoping to welcome into God's Kingdom?  Hey, come on in, but check your love for you native land at the door.  We are above that sort of thing here.  Heck ya, sign me up!

All sarcasm aside for the time being, and this will be a brief respite, I like being an American.  I do not consider it higher than my status as being a child of God, and I do not think I am somehow superior to anyone else on the planet, but I like my heritage.  I like the country in which I live, I like the freedom I have to believe as I wish, work where I want, entertain myself in mostly whatever ways occur to me. (I say mostly only because some of the ideas that occur to me are neither safe or affordable. )  I do not think the country has been without flaw and failure.  I don't think we can claim our history has been without shame or horrors.  Even with all that, I can think of no where else in the world I would rather live.   I am willing to lay that down if it is a stumbling block to someone.  I do not have to say the pledge of allegiance, or sing God bless America, if someone is going to get all hot and bothered.  I am all about being sensitive to my brothers and sisters if this is a stumbling block for some. 

What I am not about is supporting the political posturings of some who seem to want the church to be an extension of their party affiliates, on either side.  I hope everyone votes and takes their rights and responsibilities as citizens seriously, we all are called to be faithful to the authorities over us.  But do not mix up preference politically with the call of the church.  We are not called to be conservative or liberal, we are called to be surrendered servants, who are faithful to God's calling, whether it suits us or not.  We serve all, we go anywhere and we do whatever, regardless of our likes, dislikes, personal agenda or political persuasions.  

Having ranted and raved, I must also confess, I have my own political opinions.  They are less absolute than they once were, as life has taught me there is no absolute except for the nature of God.  I am less likely to vote a party line or assume anything, but I have my own set of biases.  No one is exempt in carefully separating the revelation of God in the scripture and traditions of the church from the filters we carry, political, personal, cultural.   Before we open our mouths to speak an opinion, we might do well to consider if we are speaking for God or for us, and give or take credit as appropriate.

If you are a patriotic Christian, a very happy July 4th to you.  If you are not, well, enjoy the fireworks and the day off.  It's not hard to find a reason to be grateful, one way or the other.  I will move on to the next thing I can be opposed to.  So much to argue about, so little time.

Grace, Grace, God's Grace

Have you ever noticed that while we sing about grace, and we are so grateful for grace, and we talk about how fortunate we are that God gives us grace, we are just sick over needing it.  We are sick in ourselves, and we are sick about it in others.  Grace, sure.  Failure, not so much.  Stupid decisions, please get a life!  Use your head, people!  Can you believe what I did?  Can you believe what he/she/they/those guys did?  We say you are forgiven, but we remember.  We say there is grace but somethings are just not really redeemable by grace...are they?  Gosh, lets just say I hope not.  I am depending on God meaning exactly what God says. 

Today I received a very difficult phone call.  A precious person, so dear to my heart, made a very poor decision which could have resulted in injury to others and did result in some damage.   My precious person is still precious to me, maybe even more so, and the overwhelming need to tilt my head sideways and say, "what were you thinking" has very little impact on the love.  I am shamefully aware this has not been my reaction to everyone in the past, far and recent.  Some people do not get the same grace because I don't love them the same way.  How awful, no wonder I feel shame.

I am the man in the parable who has been forgiven a debt so large I could never have repaid it.  In fact, having been forgiven all that debt, I have gone on incurring debt that continues to be forgiven.  But those who have been in debt to me are required to meet certain standards before they can be forgiven.  They have to be people I love anyway.  They have to be trying to change whatever it was that caused the indebtedness to begin with.  They have to do things that make sense to me.  Who on earth do I think I am????

There is a place for accountability.  There is the need for brothers and sisters to come along side those who have caused an offense that requires grace to cover and lovingly help them make different choices in the future.  We might even be one of the places where they can turn when they need someone to stand with them, are in a bad place and need a way out.  There are times when we can lovingly speak truth into people or situations or even issues that are God given opportunities of light and life.  We do not hand alcohol to those who are far too susceptible.  We do not help people keep their blinders fully in place.  We do not aid and abet denial, avoidance, delusion.  But we never withhold grace, and the love of God.  Not if we want to take hold of that which Christ has already taken hold of for us.

Oh that today I might love as I have been loved, forgive as I have been forgiven, pour grace out on those who really need it today.  And God bless my precious person!