Ebenezer Scrooge just stopped by my office and bah humbugged her way down the hall. She hasn't put up a Christmas tree in so long that when she decided to give her Christmas tree away to the church, she had no idea where she had stored it. She used to be part of an ornament exchange but there was no point really, she never even took them home. This is not her most favorite time of the year.
Then there is the Elf on the Shelf woman down the hall. She loves to jump out of bed and whip up a batch of Christmas cookies, run to the local community parade, then stop in at the Christmas party, and shop online to the wee small hours of the day. She has been humming Christmas carols, thinking up amazing things for her elf to do to entertain the children, and sending out her Christmas cards which she got the week of Thanksgiving because she didn't want to get behind. This is most definitely her favorite part time of the year.
I am at neither extreme, though I like this time of the year. I am too busy to decorate as I once did, and the magic of the magic isn't really happening as it once did. I do put up my tree and I like the opportunities that come along to be with family and friends for the holiday, but the frantic rush isn't appealing at all any more.
I blame this all on the Advent Conspiracy people and Michael Slaughter. Once they forced me to deal with the strange way I was celebrating the coming of my Savior, they have left me with no traditions that fit any more. I cannot go so far as to say I am sorry they have opened my eyes, but I do say that there has been a crisis of sorts created by the zeal to reclaim Christmas from consumerism.
In this new place, everything seems to be optional and I find myself holding up various things saying, does this still fit? Is it right to hang up all these wreaths when there are people who need water in the Sudan? Is it good to make cookies to share, when I could be hardening arteries and pushing over-eaters to the edge? Is it good to buy people gifts that they want....if its all about sacrifice and suffering? What does one do now after one opens the very few, non-frilly, socially acceptable gifts, that used to take hours but now only 10 minutes. After all, we have tried and it is just really hard to sit around talking about the ills and injustice of the world, and still feel that joy has come.
Let me be clear, I am all for reclaiming Christmas. I am all for being sacrificial and sharing what I have with all who need. I just want a little of the party to be seen as sacred too. I want to send money to people in need, and I want to buy things for people I love, who will love receiving. I want to feel the awe and wonder that fills my heart on Christmas Eve, remembering once again the overwhelming love of God represented in this baby. I want to look at the children around me, and wonder how God will be using these precious creatures to bring in the Kingdom. Surely there is balance in all of this?
Maybe there isn't. Maybe the non compliant part of me is resenting the call to grow up to the meat of life as a disciple moving on toward perfection and holiness of heart and life. Perhaps there is still a little girl inside that doesn't want this to be about being poured out for the sake others. Maybe I am still happier with being the center of my reality rather than surrender this place to the Author of my reality anyway.
