Too Many Daves

As a small person, growing up in a literary household, I was read to until I could read myself.  We were book friendly people: books with pictures, books with words and pictures, and then when one had advanced to the proficient reader status, books without pictures.  I wasn't too fond of those really until late elementary school, when I discovered Trixie Belden and Nancy Drew and romance.  As all young girls, in the process of hurling as fast as they can into puberty, can tell you Trixie and Jim have quite a thing going, and even held hands once.  Nancy actually has a lip locking experience with Ned.  My brothers read the Hardy Boys, but there were no girls bobbing along to save the day in those books and I wasn't really too interested. 

The all time family favorite though, that crossed over every stage of reading, was Dr. Seuss and in particular, the lovely tome that included The Sneetches, What was I Scared of, The Zax and Too Many Daves.  All of the stories were read allowed,  silently, and giggled over by children and adults alike.  My father was forever calling each of the siblings by one of the names Mrs. McCave might have named her 23 sons, if only she hadn't thought it was a good idea to call them all Dave.  My brother, who was a moody fellow, was often cajoled into being Sunny Jim, instead of Hoos Foos.  I myself was particularly fond of Sir Michael Carmichael Zutt, and Oliver Boliver Butt.  You can see how we all grow up to be such radical thinkers.

Actually, we grew up to have children who were exposed to the same high brow reading.  My own children were such experts in Seussisms that they could quote the entire Zax story, and often did foot to foot, face to face.  Granddad was still good for reminding grandchildren to be Sunny Jim, and not Weepy Weed, Paris Garters or Harris Tweed.  I was really sad when he graduated into eternal glory and my youngest missed this kind of witty banter,  We can only hope that my generation can pick up the torch.

It has occurred to me lately, that Mrs. McCave and I have a similar issue, though for different reasons.  Mrs. McCave choose to name her children the same thing, I have people who name themselves the same thing but don't mean it at all the same way.  In the end, the same things happen though, we both call out "Yoo-hoo" what comes on the run is really not what we want.

My particular issue isn't with Daves, it is with Christians.  Every shape, size, attitude, persuasions, all comes running when you yell out "Yoo-hoo Christian" but you don't really want all those people.  To be fair, perhaps some of you do want those people, but I don't.  I want very specific people, so I wish I could name various types by those names that Mrs. McCave wished she had named her Daves.  Can I indulge my fantasy here for a moment?

You know the people who run around saying that they aren't at all religious, just spiritual?  The ones who say they don't go to church because it is filled with hypocrites and you can worship God anywhere, and proclaim it is all about 'me and Jesus'?  I think they should quit calling themselves Christians and take on the label Buffalo Bill. 

Biffalo Buffs can be those people on the exact opposite end of the spectrum. The people who want nothing to change in their church at all, because it is the way it has always been done.  Every song ever sung slowly and poorly must be repeated at regular intervals.  New thoughts, activities, or (gasp) musical preferences should be tossed out into the darkness where all the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth occurs.  New people are welcome, as long as they like everything the way it is, and bring no new thought with them.

Bodkin Van Horn could be the people who want to see reform in the church, but have dismissed outright all of the reform proposed.  These are the people who want more discipleship but have never had this burning in their hearts until some plans for moving towards making more disciples hit the radar to be considered.  They narrowly define disciple to stuff they like, including those who aren't in the traditional church, but not those who think it is 'just Jesus and me'.  They are not actually making disciples, you understand.  They are studying making discples, teach discipleship, writing about what others should do, but no real discipling going on.

Moon Face could be the name of all of the social activist that have invaded the church and want to make it the place where a particular agenda is addressed and adopted.  Yes, of course this includes homosexuality, but it is a much more diverse group than that.  They want to meet all of the ills of society that they are offended by, which by itself isn't a bad thing.  It's just not at all about Jesus, it's about the way life should be.  Like the lady who is spearheading making dresses out of pillow cases for poor little girls in Africa who would otherwise not have anything to wear.  Do we know they want to wear something?! 

And finally Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face would be the group that has developed following Jesus into a profession.  Contrary to popular belief, this is not just clergy who's call became a career somewhere along the way.  These are lay people too who have found their place in leadership at the local church, or district, or conference, and firmly settled in regardless of call or even new idea.  The position is about power, and self importance, and about being someone.  They don't share Jesus, they share gossip, and tear down instead of lift up.  They are professional Christians, and maybe they had a heart warming experience once, but they don't live from it. 

But instead they are all named Christian, and I guess it is too late to do something else.  Although, the Lorax gives me hope.  He leaves us with "Unless".  Perhaps it is not too late to rename people, or allow them to rename themselves.  Perhaps what could happen is we could take back the name Christian, and we could redefine it so that people stopped calling themselves that, if it didn't fit.  We could say Christians are followers of Jesus, not admirers.  We could say that our main mission is to be formed and transformed into the image of Jesus, and allow ourselves to be poured out for the world, making more disciples of Jesus.  We might even say that we feed the poor, and love the unlovely, and stand with people in their time of need, not because we have answers, but because we have been so filled with the love of God, it is the faithful response.

 Mr. Lorax, I am holding onto your 'Unless'.   I think it could happen.